Howdy Folks!
I have for y’all some news!
Yeehaw!
I got an e mail yesterday from a fellow assholist telling (demanding) me not to use the words I have used in my previous blogpost titled: Entertainment for Deaf Assholists. He, a particular chauvinist pig, said that I was a fool for using terms that do not exist. The terms he singled out were:
Audism: The very shite he loves to practise.
Auditorisation: The very process he went through and is presently a victim of.
Deafhood: The very process he has chosen to abhor due to his affinity with the audiocentric ignorance that runs rampant in our world.
He emphasized that I was distorting the facts and that I should “get up off my ass and do my homework.” In his e mail, he concluded that I should also watch his recent vlog on YouTube titled: “Read the Book”. So,…
I, being a fellow assholist, decided to see what I could learn from another one of us “bungholes” and went out of my way to find his account and video. As soon as the video began to show, the first word that came to mind was:
Vanity!
And the second word was:
Arrogant!
And the third was:
Dim.
I mean, damn! For one,… the light ABOVE his head is brighter than the brain (if any) IN his head. Dim, I said! You see, he’s walking there on a fucking treadmill with a camera and an ipod because he ain’t got the huevos (balls to the walls) to let go of those “Gollum gollum” (my Precious) things and hike in the Santa Catalina Mountains or at Saguaro NP. He has apparently been so in love with technology that he, as a matter of fact, had his own son implanted with a device called a cochlear implant and he bangs a woman that looks like a cross between a Gila Monster and a Javelina (a Chupacabra?) She also wears a CI. Of course, all of that is beyond the point I’m trying to make but you get the gist.
Y’all see, it is pretty obvious to me that he has denied himself (having less than perfect hearing) all his life. So much to the point that he must maintain doing such in order to be received of people in this world and he is mad that he can’t seem to get out of his own demise. The very reason he nitpicks on the Truthsayers. (for telling the truth, dammit!)
Anyhow…
The main idea of his video was to tell other deaf people that they are stupid because they talk about something they don’t understand. He signs his message stating that we should read the book: “Understanding Deaf Culture: In Search of Deafhood” before we discuss things relating to it. Basically, he believes the USA is misunderstanding the UK’s version of what Deafhood really entails.
Yet hey, wait a minute!
He writes me an e mail telling me to stop using certain words then refers me to his video telling people to read a book that recognizes a term he has asked me to stop using.
* Scratching my head in disbelief. *
Then in the end of his video he says something sort of like this:
“Do your homework before you do something that makes you look bad.”
Hmmm, I, again, have to scratch my head in disbelief because he really looks bad in that video and let me tell you why:
He didn’t read the fuckin’ book and he doesn’t have the ability to.
* So Piglet, how is that for an assumption? *
You see, the author, Paddy Ladd states in his introduction:
“This book has to walk a tightrope, to operate on several levels and I have tried to design it in order to accomplish that task. First and foremost then, it is intended as a resource, in which different chapters may be of use to different people at different times. These various levels can be found within this introduction itself, and you are encouraged to focus on whichever sections draw your attention and to set aside the other sections for a later reading.”
Aha!
I read (present tense) Ladd’s book like I read my encyclopedia.
A resource.
Perhaps if my fellow Assholist had read the book (the intro at least), he would have understood its purpose and never have made the video he had me watch. Yet, of course, I find the words vain, arrogant, and DIM to be suiting for him. I might add selfish to the list too.
(Reminds me of myself, wink)
Now, before I wrap this post up, I want to share with you what I wrote in response to his email:
“Err, I go:
I guess you’re still not capable of understanding the truth behind the words you’ve asked me not to use but I can sympathize with you and your confusion. It is not your fault but the fault of the ignorance that engulfed you as a child or should I say:
Who are you working for, eh? * chuckles *
Okay, I went to YouTube to watch your video and I was pleased to see that it was less than two minutes rather than the usual lengthy bullshit ones you’re known for. I, however, do not see the point of the video because it only reveals how lame and dumb you can be.
You command me, a viewer, to “read the book.”
As a fellow Assholist like yourself, I have opted to help you better understand by quoting something Ladd mentioned in his introduction of the book which you have suggested we all read:
“For the Deaf reader who feels daunted by the language used, I suggest that chapters 7, 8, and 9 are read first. If they ring true, then the others are worthy of your attention.”
If they don’t (ring true), well, coming from me in the Italian language:
“Shut tha fuck up!”
Don’t be proud of your Lie Abilities.
You’re simply a pawn and only that.
Later fool,
D.B. ”
As for my friends and family:
THANK YOU FOR READING,
D.B. Shitehead
P.S. FYI, I’ve read the Holy Bible from Genesis to Revelation and you better do the same because if you have not, you’re really fucked! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!
* evil grin *
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Entertainment for Deaf Assholists
A question for you, a question for me, a question for us all to see…
For us all to see…see…see…
Ah, so you don’t like the term audism and you don’t wish to see yourself associated with this "thing" called Deafhood?
Well, then I reckon that should go on to tell me that you’ve pretty much settled for yourself what is most suiting for you and where you belong, thus there is no need to meddle with discussions relating to the above mentioned terms, aye?
If that be the case, then you might not find what I have to say to be the least bit interesting, however, you are more than welcome to place your eyes on this piece and stick your nose in the stink of it all. I mean, after all, if we don’t clean it up now, who will? What of the stench? Oh the trouble!
So what is it going to be, eh?
Propaganda!
Ah, I guess if you’ve read this far, then I can surely say we best carry on and not tarry, jes? Besides, you’re obviously curious enough to know where I’m going to take this and I best do my duty of entertaining you to the fullest so that you may see.
So that they may see…see…see…
Audism: the shit that happens when you’re not treated like an equal in a hearing world and it happens to every fool who has less than perfect hearing. You see, whether aided or implanted, oral or mute, that audist shit happens, so suck it up and deal with it because it IS there.
Okay,… if you’re one to say that shit doesn’t happen to you, well then I guess I could say they (the audist pigs, parents’ shame, et al) did a good job programming your ass to slap on a smile and nod every time you don’t understand shit when you’ve already asked them twice to repeat. Either that or you just don’t give a fuck what they say while you wear your best poker face.
Alas!
You are a success!
You see, asking people to continuously repeat themselves multiple times is considered “effective communication” with no emotional or psychological side effects whatsoever. It beats being a mute eh?
HA! That’s what they think.
Deafhood: the journey one takes from being ashamed to being proud of their being deaf. If you don’t recognize the word, we know where you stand and we will wait for YOU when you’re ready. Nothing more need be said. Now, if you recognize the word but keep arguing with yourself about it, break the mirror and buy another mask, or better yet, pull the trigger. That’d be one less puppet on the stage. Otherwise, stand tall!
*commercial break*
The following commercial was made possible by A Great Big Association of the Deaf (AGBAD) and readers like you:
“HEY!
Support your local deaf community: buy firecrackers, subwoofers, foghorns, jet engines, or anything that can promote severe to profound hearing loss and max it out. Surely you can help our community grow, one ear at a time, baby!”
*drum roll*
Ladies and Gentlemen!
In the stink of it all…it is:
auditorization: a process enforced upon deaf children to make them act or think like hearing people. This alone teaches the child, from the beginning, that in the minds of hearing people, they should strive to develop an identity other than their own because being deaf is bad, no good, evil, and unacceptable. This process also creates fine bullshitters and naysayers who blindly support the corporate agendas that are killing cultures across the globe, namely their own. Humans. Ha ha ha!
Aye, let us break it all down so that you can truly see.
So that they may truly see…see…see…
Methods of Auditorization:
1. Segregation and isolation from signed languages and users of them.
2. Forced to focus on speech and hearing rather than solid language acquisition.
3. Curriculum reflects that of the dominant hearing culture.
4. Textbooks and testing reflect that of the dominant hearing culture.
5. Denial of the pupil’s natural learning abilities (visual and manual).
6. Teachers are role models for the hearing culture.
And what of the home schooled?
Hey there, they’re the home fooled.
Truer learning happens out of nests and out from under wings.
Where they can, for themselves, finally see.
Finally see,…see…see…
Now, now now, I want you to look at the above list with an open mind and heart. I want you to look beyond your own account of being deaf and consider the whole, if you will. Many of us come from that 90% who were born into hearing families and were mainstreamed or onestreamed or fuckstreamed or what have ye, with no notion of a proud deaf culture. We were more familiar with the terms hearing impaired and hard of hearing than we were of the term deaf and if there were any one word we did know, it would be the word, deafness.
“Pardon the interruption, but may I please have your attention. The above word deafness is misspelled and we would like to apologize for the inconvenience it may have caused. We leave you with the correct spelling, which is: M-O-N-E-Y. That is correct: deafness is spelled: M-O-N-E-Y. Again, we apologize for the inconvenience and we thank you for your patience. (blip)”
We knew these words from the doctors, specialists, parents, and educators who love and believe that their country is the best in the world, that we have the best medicine, the best technology, the best beliefs, and the best of the best in all things.
God Bless America!
We stood in class every morning saying the pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States of America wearing some hearing aid, auditory trainer, phonic ear, or implant that made some artificial sounds, which were to many of us, useless. We stood like tireless soldiers for hearing ideals and don’t you forget, we were never good enough to serve in the armed forces like Grandpappy did, but hey, they wouldn’t tell you that, right? We were too busy straining our minds in keeping up with the right lip movements at the right time, the right sound and the right tone. And justice for all.
Sir Yes Sir!
-salutes-
The whole time they’re trying to teach us something using speech and hearing, they fail to notice that it is primarily our observations that clue us in on what is the right and wrong thing to do, what earns rewards and what does not. Pretty soon we master the methods used and eventually we find ourselves being a “model” child, not for other deaf children, but for PARENTS of deaf children.
*commercial break*
-On Deaf People-
God to Man: I created them that way.
Man to God: Thanks for the charity.
“Hey PuppetBoy!
You better talk and sing sweetly so I can sell more puppets that look like you. Only you, my precious PuppetBoy, are blessed with such abilities, while the rest are merely pieces of wood I need to get rid of.
Go on and get about talking the way you do. I need my M-O-N-E-Y or else you’re going to burn in yonder fire!”
*hat tip*
Because our wasp assed government has not officially recognized the cultural and linguistic values of our country’s signing deaf community, our politicians end up supporting the auditorization of deaf children because it garners them more support from lobbyists and corporate interests (money) that help them stay in office and such, in return, helps corporations stay in business. This whole situation has long since made it difficult, if not impossible, to educate all deaf children successfully and it has ultimately divided all of us who share the experience of having less than perfect hearing.
That is their agenda:
Make us weak.
Make them strong.
Make whom strong?
Those with the Lie Abilities.
To me, the saddest thing about it is not that we are discriminated upon by the ignorance of hearing people but such ignorance is supported by those who are ashamed to be deaf, hard of hearing, or users of American Sign Language.
*commercial break*
-A Good Business Sketch-
Business: The day when every deaf child receives an implant:
(not real figures, numbnuts!)
1 in 1000 babies born are born deaf every day.
3000 babies born every day = 3 deaf babies a day.
3 deaf babies a day multiplied by 30,000 dollar implants = 90,000 dollars projected
90,000 dollars projected a day means a projected 27,400,000 dollars annually.
If every child had 2 implants at 30,000 each the projected annual would be: 54,800,000
Good for the USA!
You see, as technology continues to improve, kids will eventually have to return to the operating room to get “maintenance and repair”. Replace older and outdated technology with a newer and more expensive one. They cannot live without the synthetic shit you have given them. You’ve got ‘em hookt on fonics.
C.I. Kenny says:
“Mah mommer caint pays fer a newtwon cuss she done spent her ever las penner on thuh one I gots in mah heyad.”
Don’t worry you sonny, we got payment plans to help you get double drilled! We got the connections to help with hearing directions.
C.I. Kenny says:
“imma sine me upon a pizza paper says I get a double dwillin in mah heyad. Dey’s gots thuh cuh cuh cuh nekssssss shuns tuh healp me hur butter.”
.
*microphone feedback*
If you made it all the way down here and have enjoyed it, thank you for reading. If you read it and feel sour or do not find this appealing to your taste, I apologize. I only want to express my sentiments, just that and only that.
Until the next one,
D.B. Shitehead
For us all to see…see…see…
Ah, so you don’t like the term audism and you don’t wish to see yourself associated with this "thing" called Deafhood?
Well, then I reckon that should go on to tell me that you’ve pretty much settled for yourself what is most suiting for you and where you belong, thus there is no need to meddle with discussions relating to the above mentioned terms, aye?
If that be the case, then you might not find what I have to say to be the least bit interesting, however, you are more than welcome to place your eyes on this piece and stick your nose in the stink of it all. I mean, after all, if we don’t clean it up now, who will? What of the stench? Oh the trouble!
So what is it going to be, eh?
Propaganda!
Ah, I guess if you’ve read this far, then I can surely say we best carry on and not tarry, jes? Besides, you’re obviously curious enough to know where I’m going to take this and I best do my duty of entertaining you to the fullest so that you may see.
So that they may see…see…see…
Audism: the shit that happens when you’re not treated like an equal in a hearing world and it happens to every fool who has less than perfect hearing. You see, whether aided or implanted, oral or mute, that audist shit happens, so suck it up and deal with it because it IS there.
Okay,… if you’re one to say that shit doesn’t happen to you, well then I guess I could say they (the audist pigs, parents’ shame, et al) did a good job programming your ass to slap on a smile and nod every time you don’t understand shit when you’ve already asked them twice to repeat. Either that or you just don’t give a fuck what they say while you wear your best poker face.
Alas!
You are a success!
You see, asking people to continuously repeat themselves multiple times is considered “effective communication” with no emotional or psychological side effects whatsoever. It beats being a mute eh?
HA! That’s what they think.
Deafhood: the journey one takes from being ashamed to being proud of their being deaf. If you don’t recognize the word, we know where you stand and we will wait for YOU when you’re ready. Nothing more need be said. Now, if you recognize the word but keep arguing with yourself about it, break the mirror and buy another mask, or better yet, pull the trigger. That’d be one less puppet on the stage. Otherwise, stand tall!
*commercial break*
The following commercial was made possible by A Great Big Association of the Deaf (AGBAD) and readers like you:
“HEY!
Support your local deaf community: buy firecrackers, subwoofers, foghorns, jet engines, or anything that can promote severe to profound hearing loss and max it out. Surely you can help our community grow, one ear at a time, baby!”
*drum roll*
Ladies and Gentlemen!
In the stink of it all…it is:
auditorization: a process enforced upon deaf children to make them act or think like hearing people. This alone teaches the child, from the beginning, that in the minds of hearing people, they should strive to develop an identity other than their own because being deaf is bad, no good, evil, and unacceptable. This process also creates fine bullshitters and naysayers who blindly support the corporate agendas that are killing cultures across the globe, namely their own. Humans. Ha ha ha!
Aye, let us break it all down so that you can truly see.
So that they may truly see…see…see…
Methods of Auditorization:
1. Segregation and isolation from signed languages and users of them.
2. Forced to focus on speech and hearing rather than solid language acquisition.
3. Curriculum reflects that of the dominant hearing culture.
4. Textbooks and testing reflect that of the dominant hearing culture.
5. Denial of the pupil’s natural learning abilities (visual and manual).
6. Teachers are role models for the hearing culture.
And what of the home schooled?
Hey there, they’re the home fooled.
Truer learning happens out of nests and out from under wings.
Where they can, for themselves, finally see.
Finally see,…see…see…
Now, now now, I want you to look at the above list with an open mind and heart. I want you to look beyond your own account of being deaf and consider the whole, if you will. Many of us come from that 90% who were born into hearing families and were mainstreamed or onestreamed or fuckstreamed or what have ye, with no notion of a proud deaf culture. We were more familiar with the terms hearing impaired and hard of hearing than we were of the term deaf and if there were any one word we did know, it would be the word, deafness.
“Pardon the interruption, but may I please have your attention. The above word deafness is misspelled and we would like to apologize for the inconvenience it may have caused. We leave you with the correct spelling, which is: M-O-N-E-Y. That is correct: deafness is spelled: M-O-N-E-Y. Again, we apologize for the inconvenience and we thank you for your patience. (blip)”
We knew these words from the doctors, specialists, parents, and educators who love and believe that their country is the best in the world, that we have the best medicine, the best technology, the best beliefs, and the best of the best in all things.
God Bless America!
We stood in class every morning saying the pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States of America wearing some hearing aid, auditory trainer, phonic ear, or implant that made some artificial sounds, which were to many of us, useless. We stood like tireless soldiers for hearing ideals and don’t you forget, we were never good enough to serve in the armed forces like Grandpappy did, but hey, they wouldn’t tell you that, right? We were too busy straining our minds in keeping up with the right lip movements at the right time, the right sound and the right tone. And justice for all.
Sir Yes Sir!
-salutes-
The whole time they’re trying to teach us something using speech and hearing, they fail to notice that it is primarily our observations that clue us in on what is the right and wrong thing to do, what earns rewards and what does not. Pretty soon we master the methods used and eventually we find ourselves being a “model” child, not for other deaf children, but for PARENTS of deaf children.
*commercial break*
-On Deaf People-
God to Man: I created them that way.
Man to God: Thanks for the charity.
“Hey PuppetBoy!
You better talk and sing sweetly so I can sell more puppets that look like you. Only you, my precious PuppetBoy, are blessed with such abilities, while the rest are merely pieces of wood I need to get rid of.
Go on and get about talking the way you do. I need my M-O-N-E-Y or else you’re going to burn in yonder fire!”
*hat tip*
Because our wasp assed government has not officially recognized the cultural and linguistic values of our country’s signing deaf community, our politicians end up supporting the auditorization of deaf children because it garners them more support from lobbyists and corporate interests (money) that help them stay in office and such, in return, helps corporations stay in business. This whole situation has long since made it difficult, if not impossible, to educate all deaf children successfully and it has ultimately divided all of us who share the experience of having less than perfect hearing.
That is their agenda:
Make us weak.
Make them strong.
Make whom strong?
Those with the Lie Abilities.
To me, the saddest thing about it is not that we are discriminated upon by the ignorance of hearing people but such ignorance is supported by those who are ashamed to be deaf, hard of hearing, or users of American Sign Language.
*commercial break*
-A Good Business Sketch-
Business: The day when every deaf child receives an implant:
(not real figures, numbnuts!)
1 in 1000 babies born are born deaf every day.
3000 babies born every day = 3 deaf babies a day.
3 deaf babies a day multiplied by 30,000 dollar implants = 90,000 dollars projected
90,000 dollars projected a day means a projected 27,400,000 dollars annually.
If every child had 2 implants at 30,000 each the projected annual would be: 54,800,000
Good for the USA!
You see, as technology continues to improve, kids will eventually have to return to the operating room to get “maintenance and repair”. Replace older and outdated technology with a newer and more expensive one. They cannot live without the synthetic shit you have given them. You’ve got ‘em hookt on fonics.
C.I. Kenny says:
“Mah mommer caint pays fer a newtwon cuss she done spent her ever las penner on thuh one I gots in mah heyad.”
Don’t worry you sonny, we got payment plans to help you get double drilled! We got the connections to help with hearing directions.
C.I. Kenny says:
“imma sine me upon a pizza paper says I get a double dwillin in mah heyad. Dey’s gots thuh cuh cuh cuh nekssssss shuns tuh healp me hur butter.”
.
*microphone feedback*
If you made it all the way down here and have enjoyed it, thank you for reading. If you read it and feel sour or do not find this appealing to your taste, I apologize. I only want to express my sentiments, just that and only that.
Until the next one,
D.B. Shitehead
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